I am gearing up for my next session. Another step forward on this incredible journey.
A few thoughts and feelings since my last session.
I did write a letter to my friend’s sister. It felt wonderful. I got to apologize for unintentionally hurting any feelings. I got to empower myself, stand up for myself, and write about how I had been feeling. I got to write words of healing, about moving on, and a toast to new beginnings. I hope the letter was received well.
I was feeling really good after that letter. I felt clear. I felt strong.
Some raw feelings still came up. This argument with these childhood friends causes emotions for my family. It is very hard to hear how worried, concerned and emotional they are. I am trying to accept that all of us have a right to our feelings. I’m trying to be able to hear them too. But it’s hard. I’m trying to change patterns here. It isn’t easy. I'm doing things differently, however, not everyone has chosen this path.
I still haven’t heard back. It hurts a little. I guess they can't show up for this part.
I still wake up feeling a little lighter. I don’t feel as heavy. All my anxiety and all my pain isn’t gone. I still feel pain and sadness. Letting go isn't easy. There is a lot of work to do here. But peeling back the layers, and sorting through the details, - one by one - that’s not feeling so scary right now.
I feel open. I feel truthful. I feel I’ve got my back.