I had my first, ever, never did it before, Internal Family Systems Healing session with Ursula yesterday. As I said, I was a bit nervous about timing and worried I would be distracted because I knew I had to pick our dog, Ruby up at the vet. But I was committed and as soon as I buckled myself in, I was ready.
Oh Ruby was fine. I was so happy when I picked her up. (Just in case you wondered)
I had to get an app on my phone, for Zoom, it’s like Skype. That process was interesting. I’m not computer savvy. I usually think I’m doing it wrong. I wing it,every time. I don’t understand all these apps and gadgets. I think it’s super cool I can have conferences, meetings and even healing sessions in the comfort of my home, but figuring out how everything works…..that takes deep breaths. I did it!
It was neat, there was Ursula talking to me on my phone. Okay, I still think that is so “it’s the Jetsons” cool.
Ursula asked me what words I would like to use for our session. We went through some, Higher Consciousness - NO. That word annoys me. I told her. She was completely fine with my honesty. Guardian Angels? NO. (The idea of a Guardian Angel makes me uncomfortable and think of death) A lot of these “Spiritual words”, I feel, in my own opinion, are overused now. I have read in a lot of Spiritual books. I wanted new words, my own words, and Ursula was asking me, and giving me a choice.
Ursula was amazing. I had my first cry of the session because she asked me what I wanted. She was so kind, respectful and understanding. She wanted to be able to communicate with me, so I was in my own cozy comfortable zone. She didn’t TELL me that I had to speak like her or that there were any rules. That’s a win for me. When I feel heard, I cry. When I feel there is room for me to speak as ME, I cry.
So far, the healing, with Ursula, well, I was feeling we were on the right track.
Most healers and therapists have a tone….it brings up a uh oh….I’m going to do it wrong or I feel they are better than me. I like to feel my own spiritual vibe. I strongly believe one size doesn’t fit all. I also believe that the healer and the one wanting to be healed, should feel on the same playing field.
Ursula got me.
We fiddled until we got the mechanics right.
The session began. (She is going to give me a copy, so I can go through it, and follow my thoughts and feelings in another blog). We agreed, I am only to talk and blog about my own feelings, reactions and thoughts. She has had a lot of training and I am not here to give away her gift, or give away her magic tricks, for lack of a better word. I am here to talk about my experience.
Okay, so in a nutshell, just free flowing, these are the characters who came up in my session.
A Dog (he was on my neck - he keeps me tense, alert) It felt like he guards me and is VERY protective.
A snarky, sort of tsk tsk woman. She was concerned. She wasn’t too sure about the session. She's a bit pessimistic.
A young me (about four years old). When I pictured her in my mind, I began to cry. She was so filled with curiosity and play. She really wanted to be heard.
My dad (he passed away almost 30 years ago). He showed up. He was a bit stern. He was a little too protective of the little me. (I think him and the dog have a lot in common)
Then I showed up - the NOW me. I held little me. I pictured little me flying into NOW me’s arms.
I went numb in my lips and fingers. I recognize that feeling. I’ve had that before when the real me shows up. I know I’m getting to the nitty grittys and then ting….body says…..just in case….let’s numb her out a little bit.
There were moments I struggled to come up with images. When that happened, I saw gray and murky waters.
The whole time, Ursula was fine with anything and everything. She encouraged me to let whatever thoughts and feelings I had rise to the surface. She guided and directed the characters and people coming into my mind to help with the healing.
Towards the end, Snarky tsk tsk lady showed up. She noticed the time and said you need to wrap this up)...I had to pick up Ruby. But that’s ok. We had done a lot of work. I also like that I have an inner timer. It had been a good first session. I was ready to wrap it up.
So I’ll get to review our session with a recording. This is not something Ursula normally does. But since we are blogging and working on this project together, she is allowing me to review the recorded session.
My first session with Ursula went very well. I felt safe and connected with her and at the same time felt reassured to be myself at all times. I didn't know what to expect, but with Ursula, who guides you and constantly reassures you, being the real you is all that is required. It was a lovely experience.