I love this phrase. Ursula reminded me during one's healing we are doing a lot of work. But even after some healing is done, it is still important to stay with the basics.
Do the work which embraces who you are, embraces and enhances my true self, and also embraces my healing in all its forms.
Chop Wood, Carry Water is about a monk who reaches enlightenment, after doing daily work of chopping wood and carrying water up a hill each day. After reaching enlightenment he wants to know what is next. His guides or advisors, say "Chop Wood, Carry Water." Every day.
I am making a lot of changes, healing, and moving forward. While making these changes, healing and moving forward I am also desiring to practice healthier habits for me and my family. I am asking my son to change some habits which I feel will improve his life as well as mine. It feels as if he and my husband are resisting. This is frustrating to me. I feel angry at times. Ursula guided me to talk to my parts, encouraging myself, not to get into too much drama about this, but to realize just because I am changing - that doesn't mean everyone in my life is just going to jump on my bandwagon and make the changes - even if it will improve their lives. They might show some resistance. They also might realize, hey, she has a point, and make the changes themselves, but slowly.
She reminded me not everyone in my family has the tools yet that I am learning and they may not even see a reason to change their habits. I was honest that frustration and irritation do rise up inside me. Ursula gently guided me to keep in mind if I calm the frustrated and irritated parts and come from logic there may be a way to communicate my reasons and experiences with them. My calm and peaceful attitude, will guide me to share and communicate in in a way that will either help them understand and also soothe me with the knowledge and realization they need to figure things out in their own time as I am doing .
This requires a lot of patience on my part. A lot.
She suggested not to poke or prod. Be direct. Be honest. But also speak with compassion, patience and love to my family and myself.
We went in to do some internal work and see which parts came forth.
The first part came in the image of a beautiful, fierce, and strong woman. Her hair was all pulled up, her shoulders back, and she had a lot of confidence. She wanted to tell it like it is. She wanted to push back a little. Ursula said she is awesome but she needs to be reminded that when you push and yell at people, you may get a response that will not work in your best interest. She said, when you yell and get too sassy, it may send the mood into a intense place. Basically, she said, don't poke the beast.
The next part who showed up was a scared little girl. Ursula said she needs to be protected. Yes, the fierce strong woman said she would protect her. I was guided to tell her she can speak her mind to me but to be careful how she speaks to others because it is scaring the little girl part in me who doesn't want to poke a beast and have things get worse. Ursula asked me to ask the fierce strong woman if she understood. She said yes and said she would protect the little girl and practice being careful with her words. The scared little girl part got to be heard and understood. The fierce strong woman, still with her shoulders back and feeling even more confident, now has a great job to do.
An anxious part showed up as well. I can't remember if it came in an image. But it was clear that it didn't need to worry. We have this taken care of - there was no need for anxiety to start stirring the pot.
Ursula guided me to release some strong emotions of anger, sadness, fear of the unknown (these were stuck in my chest and I could feel them) .
A lot of great stuff come up today.
We closed the session with thanks and gratitude.
It was a lovely and very empowering session.
The section of our session with the strong fierce lady and little girl is a very common occurrence in our systems. We have a hurt part of us, and then another part of us who wants to protect that hurt part. The protector continues to protect but doesn't realize it comes with a price. We do this, and we do this for years.
Who hasn't been hurt?
What do we do with those hurt parts of us? What are you, the reader or listener doing yourself? Typically we stuff it down, through eating, denying, avoiding, or we go into defender mode, through, perfectionism, defensiveness, blame and anger.
Guess what though, the hurt part stays buried for years to come. We end up as adults with these patterns and we don't even know why we are behaving this way to begin with.
It's to eventually be fed up enough with ourselves that we say, "Okay, I need some help here, what I am doing is NOT working."
Look around at the results of your life and see if that's what you want. If not, the path is waiting for us. Every step of the way. It's as if we decided to go trekking around in the woods and go off the path and wonder why it's so hard to get anywhere. The right way, the way that has been proven and provided for us, is right there, a few yards away.
We suffer and wonder what's the matter. The answers are inside of us. We can get the protectors inside to back down and stop making matters worse rather then better, we can tap her out, take her off the losing battle post and give her a break, then go to what really is the matter. That we have been hurt. That no one has bothered to comfort us and help us. That we haven't had the awareness to do that for ourselves all these years of our lives. When we can put our weapons down and look into our hurt hearts and say, "ahhh, so sorry." All that commotion can calm down. We can stop being aggressive towards ourselves and others. Inner peace may be experienced for the first time in this regard.