There is a method to my madness. I'm squeamish about going out to eat lately. It just seems every time I got out, I'll spot food, lipstick (not mine), smudges on the plates and cupt - and blech! I just feel there's a sloppy attitude lately in the food industry. I don't want to send my food back or cups back all the time. It sets my germaphobe and OCD thoughts a blazing. I'll wonder are they giving me a new plate or are they just wiping it off? I wonder if are they spitting in my food? I know! It's a little bit much. When I see a barista making my coffee with her long hair and she's either touching her hair a lot or swishing her hair around a lot - egads! Thoughts a blazing. Last keep I kept my eyes glued to a piece of hair dangling off the barista's head - to make sure it didn't wind up in my coffee. I laugh at myself sometimes. Other times, I might just walk away and not get anything. It's too much thinking. Today - I went to get my coffee. A girl next to me had ordered black coffee. She got her coffee and guess what she says?! "Excuse me miss, there's a hair in my coffee!" See! See! It can happen. Oh my goodness.
I'm trying to work with my thoughts and relax with my thoughts. Some are just spot on observations. Some are a little far fetched and out there. But I'm learning it's OK - to have them. It's OK to set boundaries around them. It's OK to communicate them when I'm feeling courageous and confident. It's OK. Other times - it's still OK to have them but I'm OK letting some of them go.
I did my podcast this morning. Here it is:
I had a nice walk. Got my coffee. I'm pouring it into my favorite blue cup and sipping while writing this blog. Is it called a blog? Is the whole thing a blog? Are these blog entries? Writings? Ramblings? Sip coffee. Brain activated. Breathe in. Breathe out.
I'm still working on my mindful practice. It's all about awareness. It's all about allowing in - and then allowing out. It's all about finding that peaceful spot. Ooooh, I think I remember what the first practice is....it just came to me, as I was doing it - and writing. It talks about getting distracted. Going from one thing to another. Wishing you were somewhere else - doing something else - or thinking about the task ahead - when you are working on a task now. (Whisper: I'm doing it right now.) Ooops. Okay - I'm aware I'm doing it - that's good. It talks about being content in the spot you are in RIGHT NOW. Being content doing whatever it is you are doing right now. Or just being present. It's not easy with a busy mind - but it's doable. It's kind of cool that I happened to bring my awareness to the present moment and the practice - right now while I was writing. As I write, I'm present and can hear the keys tapping - my phone actually buzzed - I was aware it took my attention (the sound did) - but I didn't look at it - I kept writing. Well done Rebecca.
It's the baby steps that make me have one of those AHA moments. I like it.