Oh that word. Setback. Sounds so serious and sad.
Lately, I've been feeling more anxious and had a couple of old school panic attacks. I call them old school - because they are the original gangstas in my mind. They swoop in - out of nowhere - scare the shit of me - not based in reality - and just shake and shake and shake.
I spoke about it in today's podcast.
All right! I hear you. But you can't not come in here and start your ruckus! Sure, that's the way I speak with my gangstas. Look, they're just trying to protect me. I get it. They felt fear, anger and frustration and just started pulling out their mental pistols - freaking out - and getting all up in my head. Okay - I'm getting all gangsta now. I just know I need to follow their smoke back to what's really bothering me - take some deep breaths - healing soothing breaths - and begin the self love and self care talk. I realize something triggered these thoughts. I became frustrated and reverted a little bit - to the way I "used" to think. But guess what? I don't think like that anymore. Wait...oh I might think like that on occasion- BUT - I have other tools and thoughts now too - which work a lot better for me.
I can handle this.
I am healing.
It's ok that I have these thoughts.
I have others.
I can flip the thoughts and see the other side to them.
I will flip the thoughts and see the other side to them.
I am safe.
I am worthy.
I am here.
I have a place here.
And then I begin...what can I do to help myself?
I have therapy today.
I have an acupuncture appointment this week.
I can exericise, meditate, get creative, be helpful, garden. or nap if need be.
I have been sharing myself on Instagram.
Blech, don't like the way I look. Hey! That's not nice. Well...I didn't get all dolled up. I just rolled the film and let loose. To be honest, I think it's more helpful to show this side of me. I don't need to be perfect when I'm hurting and sharing. I don't need to look fancy or have anyone think I have it all together. So I included a couple pictures of myself in the last few days. (pics below) No filter. No makeup. And....(pic above) a quote that really resonated with me.
I have been working on Mental Girl book 2. I received the first revised edited version from my editor. I'm going over it. It goes back one more time and then....it will be on sale on Amazon! I'm excited about that.
You know, I thought about that...get a little busy Rebecca. Not the busy where I shove all my crap under a mental rug and hope it goes away. No. I'm going to work through my stuff. But I can get busy. Remind myself of all the magical and exciting adventures I can have.
Take care of you.
I appreciate you.
I'm glad you are here.
Thank you for your support.