"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
- Oscar Wilde.
I've always felt my feelings a little bit more intensely than others. Or at least that's what I thought. I was thrilled to find people on Twitter, who had thoughts like me, and they laugh about them. I had an inkling that most people felt things - but they didn't admit it - or they brushed off it while I squirmed and sat in discomfort. Wait, I'm not suggesting people are watching in discomfort. I just meant - I've always been uncomfortable and they everyone else had it handled. I'm finding out - and now I don't really want to hear all of it - my family and friends have A LOT of thoughts too. They kept a lot bottled inside - and now they want it out. Woosh! There's a lot of feelings out there.
Well now I don't sit in discomfort...well as much. Last night I was way over the top with my feelings, horribly uncomfortable and spiraling down a little. I talk about it in today's podcast.
Woosh! (I say woosh a lot) Lots of feelings. But I buckled in and rode the waves and this morning - I have a new take on it all. I had some fuckin' feelings. Ooops. It happens. I can start any time with a deep breath, a start over, and a request for new healing thoughts to help me through. I did.
I had a nice walk this morning. I'm still having some lower back pain - I don't like that. I think it makes me a bit grouchier. Pain does that. So I'm going to keep taking more deep breaths, do my stretches, drink lots of water, and send healing messages to my back. Relax. Relax.
So I spoke, in today's podcast, about my resistance to making lists. I make them and then don't look at them. Or I get lazy - I don't want to make them. Or I think I don't really like the writing part. I'm fine with typing. But then one might suggest - type out the list perhaps? But it's the list! Grrrr. So today - with you guys - I'm going to try this list thing people rave about. Deep breath.
1. Do lots of back exercises today. Send messages to back - I love you. Heal.
2. Drink lots of water.
3. Guide my son with his "brain learning" stuff. (I want to relax - and don't use the nagging voice to encourage him to get his work done. Use the encouraging, calm and relaxed voice.
4. Clean the bathroom.
5. Put up some more Halloween Decorations.
6. Oooh right that bill out and get that in the mail. (you know the one)
7. Clean out cat box after coffee and blog.
8. (Okay...that's enough for now. I paused which means the flow stopped. )
Hey I got a good start. That's a pretty good list. Ooooh...wait...I do have a list I wanted to write. This is a to do list - hopefully stuff to do within the next week maybe?
1. Get that book published. It's good. Clean it up. And get it out.
2. Try working on some new ideas. You have the stirring in you. You've got good stuff. Write! (hey that's nice and encouraging self talk)
3. Work on your audio version for Unveiling With Ursula.
Hey....this list thing isn't horrible. I really actually got a little stimulated by making these list. I think it's you guys being here with me. (I know you aren't here HERE, but I'm writing - thinking about my blog readers) Lets see what happens.
Oooh...shazam...I've got another list in my head - popping out.
1. Find a deodorant that works. (Okay - I will be writing about this. I'm premenopausal. Yeah, fun stuff. But I've discovered I now have an odor! I didn't have that before. I don't like "chemically" (I know not a word) products - but none of these "natural ones" are working. )
2. Keep searching for good hair products. (My hair has been really bugging me. I just can't figure out a good hairstyle. It's either pulled back or under a baseball cap. I don't want that to be my look all the time. I can do this. I'll find the right products for my hair.)
3. Email some companies again and see if they will send you stuff in exchange for a review. It worked so well with Botanic Organic. I'm still thrilled that I found some really good projects from them. I want to get figuring out the right makeup, hair products and my "look" with clothes. (Okay - this one is a big project. Deep breath. This will take time.)
Wow! Look at me! I did it. I made 3 lists! But I laugh. This is how I make lists on paper too. Post its all over the place. There are different ones - scattered around. Well, that's me. This is the way I do it. I love that Oscar Wilde quote - that I put at the top. It's great. Be YOU! Like this section says here...I Gotta Be Me.