It's strange, I've been getting better sleeps. I haven't been waking up every couple hours like I usually do. I've had long stretches where I've slept for five hours. The weirder (I know - not a word) thing is I don't feel rested. I wake up and I just want to stay in bed. I will contribute it to all the hard garage work. This shit is exhausting! And guess what? I still get up. I move my body around- get a walk in - and I'm going!
I'm getting there. I really AM! Thanks for hanging in there with me and listening to all my complaints. I don't mean to whine "so much" - actually - it's not that I'm complaining - well I am - but you know - maybe I actually feel proud of myself that I'm doing all this hard work - feeling the physicality of the whole project - and still going. I would be bragging away if I was running a marathon. I would be saying - ooosh, my feet hurt a little - I'm feeling sore - but I can see the finish line - someone hand me some water!
I can do this. I am doing this!
I found another picture - I believe I'm about 30 here. I was working as a receptionist at a Business Management office for celebrities. It was an ok job. They were good to me. I made lots of nice friends. And most of the stars were nice. One of my favorites? Jack Palance. When this man first walked in the office, I barely moved. I was so nervous. He was so tall - and YES - he does sound like that - deep voice - very attractive even as he aged. But eventually -- this cutie - would waltz up to me and we would have great conversations about his cows - his fun at his ranch. He didn't like to talk business, but he liked to talk cows. He was so sweet.
This sweet girl (yes I think she's sweet) in the picture really went through a lot back then. She handled a divorce, her struggles with panic attacks and agoraphobia. I got a job! I got a job - where I was responsible and had to get there at 8:30am to open up the office. I wrote a lot at that computer. I found a ton of my writings in the garage. I need to go through them. Oh - I wanted to be a successful famous writer. Maybe I am. If you guys know me now - I'm famous. Right?
Well - I need to finish this blog and plan the days schedule. I need to be a mom, wife, sister, daughter, care for our pets and still clean out the garage.
I say to you - whatever is on your schedule - be good to you, okay? Pull out an old picture and look at that person. That's you! That's you - loaded with a ton of beautiful stories about survival, experience and your strengths. Honor that person.
Oh - yes - I did a podcast this morning. I was a bit off my game - but here it is.
And please check out the section called "my blog" because I've been posting black and white pictures. I was nominated to take black and white pictures for 7 days. It's cool. I post both the black and white and color sometimes. I've really enjoyed it actually.
All right - onward! Oh...I need more coffee.