I'm having a little bit more fun with my blog and my self discovery adventure. I like this feeling. I think it's because I'm not putting a lot of pressure on myself. I'm taking small steps at a time.
Also, I'm declaring, "I'm allowed to have fun with of all this!"
A lot of my self discovery work has been challenging, tiring, scary at times, and has been a lot of mental work. I think it was supposed to be. I fought some mental dragons, I had to create my own warrior persona, and I had to work very hard at finding the right healer and counselor to help me move forward.
I did a podcast this morning - the topic was healing. Here it is:
All right....deep breath here....I haven't written about it much...yet...I know I will write more....but just so you can understand and hopefully relate to me a little more....oh for goodness sake, I need to get to the point. I get nervous talking about it. Earlier this year, I had a really big meltdown. It was huge. I hadn't had one like this in a long time. I cracked under the pressure, I what if'd myself to such a point that I was just frozen with fear, and I was really struggling. All of my issues came rising to the surface. I've dealt with panic disorder, OCD, agoraphobia, and social anxiety for a long time - it all came up. I'm talking well over 30 years of struggling and trying to figure myself out. Deep breath. I'm just not ready to get all into this right now. However, it's important to share with you that even though I'm on a self discovery, I want to romance myself, and figure out what I like mission - that doesn't mean it's been all roses - OR - that I have it all together all the time.
I'm feeling cheerful more often. I'm feeling vibrant. I'm feeling excited about life. I get out more. I get out alone. It's HUGE. I love that feeling. I haven't had that in a LONG time. Frankly, it still feels awkward at times, because my mind plays tricks and says don't get too happy. Life can be crap. This is old programming that I'm slowly dismantling. But it takes time. Okay....I got too serious - just not in the mood for that right now.
Deep breath. I love taking those. Take one with me if you like, here we go, 3...2...1....blow it out. Feels good, right?
All right, let's have a little fun. So about these fantastic products from Botanic Organic. So far, they are all wonderful. But I know, in my budget, I won't be able to afford them all. So after I'm done, I'll pick my favorites and start with those. I have a few more products to try but so far - I'm just head over heels for this Tangerine Cleansing Oil, the Daily Detox moisturizer, and the nice refreshing cleansing spray. They really perk my face up. If you read the last few blogs, you'll know, I've already had compliments about my "glow" from friends and family who didn't know I was trying new products.
The next product I tried, starting last night, was the Lemon Verbena & Comfrey Nutrient Mist. It's a spray on your face to make you feel refreshed. It's light. The scent isn't strong. It's nice. They say you can use it all day long. A spritz here and there.
I'm having a nice, slow, easing into it, process of weeding through my clothes, shoes, and other accoutrement. Now, don't judge me - but I bought a new hat. I know! I haven't even weeded through all my crap yet...but I couldn't resist. It's green! It's a really cute baseball cap. I love it. I don't have a pin for it yet. I usually put a pin in my hats. I took a selfie wearing one of my favorite t-shirts too. It's got a beautiful black cat with green eyes on it. Now this one is special to me. Plus it's soft and feels good on my skin. It reminds me and empowers me to stay away from silly superstitions. Black cats are magical and beautiful. This shirt looks like our beautiful cat Elizabeth who passed away a few years ago. She was a stray who entered our lives for just a little bit. She was beautiful and sweet. She had the most amazing beautiful green eyes. My son and husband bought me this shirt. It's soft, cute, and it's a keeper. This outfit got the yes sticker. The rest of what I'm wearing is just comfy. I applied a little mascara, light blush (of course I'm wearing my Botanic Organic Raspberry & Green Tea Daily Defense moisturizer), and some light pink lipstick. It's a casual look.
I'm trying to keep my blogs and podcasts short. I'm trying to keep these a little silly and relatable. It's as if we are chatting at a café and you're listening to my chitter chatter. I hope you enjoy them.
Thank you for visiting!