I was a bit cold this morning on my walk. I eventually warmed up. But it's turning over to fall - and I keep forgetting to bring a light jacket. I can feel the seasons changing. Fall is coming. It's ready. The shadows on the ground are different. The way the sun hits my house and the neighborhood is different. I can feel myself itching to bring out our Halloween decorations. There are pumpkins at the stores now. And squash! All different kinds of squash! Fall!!!! Okay - yes, I hear you summer, you have a few more days. It's ok. I'll be patient.
Patient. Deep breath. Patience. Calm. Yes, keep calm. I'm really trying to practice keeping calm. I've been finding myself a little edgy about stuff. I did a podcast this morning. I spoke about some feelings I'm having with my husband. Here it is:
It felt good to let it out. I didn't give too many details. Again, I'm not into sharing the details - the specifics - but I'll share the feelings and some thoughts. I'll tell you why. First of all, it's my private stuff. I'm allowed to withhold if I want to. Second, I just feel sharing the details doesn't matter. I don't like hearing too many details from other people. I think the meat and potatoes is in the feelings and the thoughts we tell ourselves. And lastly, I feel if I share too much - that opens me up to hearing tons of advice - and frankly - I don't want too much advice right now. I feel strong about my feelings. I'm honoring them. I'm also being patient while I sort through them.
And then that leaves me collected. I went out for my walk, did my podcast, went to the market, came home put it all away, and then set out again to pick up my coffee. Awwww....sweet coffee. And a bran muffin. Yum. I did all this before my son got up. I got up early. It feels really good to get all that done. A year ago I wouldn't have done all that on my own. So that - all that - is a big deal. I actually told myself - out loud - that I was proud of me. Try that today. I'm sure there are many things that you all do - that you may think are not a big deal - but they are! Tell yourself you are proud of all that you do.
Okay, I'm going to do it. Oh should I? Oh why not? All right...here's today's selfie. Well, it was from yesterday. My son and I went for our annual eye appointment. All is well. I had to get checked for cataracts. Ain't that fun? Good thing - I don't have it. My eyes are fantastic. I didn't need to up my prescription. My eyes looked good. My son's eyes are healthy and happy too. But the doc put those drops in my eyes - and then the whole world becomes super bright and a little blurry for a while. Last year, when we left and got outside - the ride home was challenging because it was so frickin' bright. So this year - I asked them for the glasses - you know the ones - those big ones that you put over your glasses to shield your eyes from the bright light. Oh - if you don't know about them - they're really snazzy. I took a picture - with my serious face - I could be in the movie Matrix. Well Matrix for the geriatrics. Heh heh. (I can joke now) Check it out. I KNOW it's not flattering. But it's funny and I need to lighten up and be silly about stuff like this.
So the goal - stay calm, stay cool, and collect myself as needed. Rinse and repeat.