Okay...I'm up. It's Monday. It's the start of the new week. Now, does that mean...however I start this week is the way the week is going to go? I don't care for that view. Honestly I don't think there is a start to anything. Life seems pretty fluid. It's moving forward even when we feel we are moving backward because of a mood or situation. Life just continues. Those trees you see, the flowers out there...plants and weeds...look at them. They aren't stopping because of me and my moods. Just because I'm in a funk - they will keep going. There is some comfort in that. Life is moving - forward.
So if life is moving - then I'm moving. I'm moving forward even when in a funk. Now my job is to not let the funk grow any bigger than it needs to before grabbing it by the shirt tails and saying, "All right, what's up?"
I woke up in a bit of a funk this morning. Blech. The good news was I got up. I didn't let the funk pull me down. I got up, folded the blankets, did my self care and morning stretch routine and got out for a walk. I even did a podcast. I shared my feelings.
It actually felt good to just talk about it. I've been in my head for the last week. So just expressing it and realizing it's OK, I'll work through it, and I'm doing something about it - made me feel a little bit better.
I am still working on my drawing project. I'm quite impressed that I'm sticking with it. I even added a little extra to the project. After every drawing, I make a copy , and then color it in - keeping the original as is - but adding some flair and pizzazz to the copy. It's been really fun. I included the latest picture, here, in this blog. The project was I drew a corner of a room in my house.
I'm still posting videos on Instagram.
I also am working on getting Mental Girl book 2 out on paperback. You can get a copy of Mental Girl book 1 on paperback. Either go to my books up at the top and click the link. Or go to Amazon and type in Mental Girl Rebecca Schlaeger - and...voila!
I haven't made a lot on these books. I'll admit it stings a little. I was hoping to be instant famous. But you know what? The reaction and feedback I've received so far has been a gift.
All right - so onward!
Hello Monday! You got me by the balls a little this morning. Okay, that was a bit crass. I'm just pulling on my sassy and silly pants. But still - I had a lot of feelings this morning. I'm feeling stuff. I'm thinking stuff. What would I like to commit to? Do I want to commit to picking on myself and convincing myself that I'm a failure? Hell no! Do I want to commit to continuing to work on myself and be self aware and moving forward and doing this life stuff to the best of my ability? Hell yes!
Be good to you.
Practice self care.
It's OK to feel.
YOU are not alone.
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for your support.
Glad you are here.
It's Monday. Had a lovely weekend. But boy was it hard getting up this morning. I really REALLY wanted to sleep in...like not do anything and just stare out the window, fall back asleep...stare again....maybe eat...and then sleep. I just didn't want to think, feel, do or...and then...I got up. I knew that this was not a day for that. I didn't feel depressed...but I didn't want that mood turning into a depressive state. I knew if I acted on that mood, but the end of the day I would be feeling sad, because I have responsibilities.
So I got up and slathered on the self care. I have been comparing it to sunscreen. You protect yourself out in the sun when you need to...why not with mental health sunscreen? Put it on every day. Even when you think you don't need it, slather it on. Especially the days when you're feeling a little off...that's when you just pour it on. So I did. I was up, out, went for a walk, did a podcast and got a chore done.
Here's the podcast.
I felt better after I reached out and talked to you guys. I know you aren't right here with me...but as I'm talking and sharing my thoughts - I feel less alone. I sure do hope my babbling helps in some way for you too.
I've been making little videos and posting on Instagram.
So! Last week! I started on a new project - an art project. And so far, I'm pleased that it's going well. I've done two exercises. I included pictures for you to see. I draw with a #2 pencil and then after that, I make copies and I add a little color. Because, why not?
I took a peek at the next exercise and I can see they are getting a little more challenging. But I didn't think I was going to do well at any of it. I was doubtful I would have any fun - but I am!
I'll see what comes up this week.
So see Rebecca? Okay - hold on - I'm going to chat with myself for a little bit. Isn't it great that you practice self love and self care? Do you see how it works? I do! I really do.
Okay - back to you guys. Seriously - I do. This isn't to say I don't have my human moments. I'm bitchy, twitchy and itchy at times. But the discomfort is less BECAUSE of the self care stuff. It sends this message to my subconscious that I can handle it. Then my subconscious works extra hard to get shit done. And again...our subconscious doesn't know right from wrong, fear from calm, truth from fiction. It just acts and behaves as we give it the information. So give it a lot of love, kindness, and reassurance and it really starts to rock for us.
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for your support.
I really appreciate it.
So as you know, well I hope you know...I hope you know about them...I hope you...ooops...rambling. I'm talking about my Mental Girl books - both 1 and 2. Both can be purchased on e-book on Amazon. Right now. Yep. Grab your copy.
Working on my Mental Girl books took a lot of my "creative" time and energy. Which was great. I'm glad I gave the books attention. I'm actually still doing it because, I'm working on making it possible...no not possible...making it official...no, that's not the word...I'm making it happen...oh I'm rambling...Mental Girl book 1 AND 2 will soon be out in paperback. How cool is that? I'm excited, because I will be able to hold them in my hands! So stay tuned for that announcement.
In the meantime, I decided not to stop myself from working on other projects as well. I've got a few shuffling around right now. Yes, I work on projects the way I read books, write journals, and well...write this blog. I stop and start. I go the way my creative wind blows. It doesn't make me a millionaire...and I'm sure it's not the way the "professionals" do it...but it's my way. I've always admitted I'm a work in progress and I do things my own way.
The other day, a friend was over helping me get Mental Girl book 1 ready for paperback. She could see it takes a lot of work, support and help. She saw my excitement but also my finger nail biting. However...I proudly told her...that I was working on some other things. One...I got giddy talking about...is an idea for a graphic novel. I've written a few YA novels. I have a children's e-book on Amazon. If you want to check out my e-books...click up there at the top - see that button that says "MY BOOKS"...yeah...click on that...go on...I can wait. Oh...you can also do it later. No pressure.
Anyhoo...I told her I was rolling around a fun idea for a graphic novel, but I was just doing the writing part. I told her, if I do get this book finished, I'm going to need an illustrator. Which is NOT easy to find. You either have to pay a lot of money for someone...or hope you have some talent...and do the whole thing yourself. I currently have a children's book on the market and I haven't found an illustrator yet. So...my friend, who is always pushing me along to succeed and soar asked me "why don't you do the drawings?" I said, "me? Oh no...I don't draw. I doodle. I doodle trees and happy faces, but I don't draw." She said, "everyone can draw." Then she recommended a book to me. She really got on a roll trying to convince me to open my brain to the possibility of drawing for my own books. She told me about Betty Edwards' book "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain". After she left, I went on Amazon and found the book. I was about to get it, when I saw the workbook. I thought...I'm going for the workbook. Why not? And I got it. Then I really got it...when it was delivered the next day!
So that's my new project. I decided to blog about the process. Let's see how far I get. Okay, that sounded a little pessimistic. I am pleased that I'm trying new things. I do believe you can change the way you see, view, and do things. I think it's important to have faith in yourself and believe that you can learn anything that you want to learn. So dangnabbit! I'm going to try this for size!
I've included some pics. See up at the top? That's when I just got the book. I sat...wait...I layed...dangit...wait...I hear my father in my head...you lie down on the couch...you lay an egg. Anyway - I nuzzled under the covers with our dog Ruby nestled beside me and began reading the book. I'm only on the first part. The BEGINNING - the forward, which is very inspiring. There is a part that totally worked for me. She called it the 2 minute rule. It was about getting started. Just start. Give it 2 minutes. See where it goes. I thought - I can do 2 minutes. Right?
I actually continued to read the next part. It was a list of the materials I need. I'm a little overwhelmed by the list. I have most of it. But not all of it. I'm going to do my best. I went for it and read just a little more (it was over 2 minutes) and got through the Glossary of Terms as well- but after that I fell asleep. The glossary - well it pooped me out a little. I didn't understand all the words. I tend to daydream when I read. If the book gets too wordy, technical, or goes on and on and on without any humor - I begin to get sleepy. That's on me. It's the not the author. It's just the way my brain has always worked. I think I get over loaded with information - than I have guilt and shame that I don't understand - then I flip to trying really REALLY hard to understand the information - and if I find myself having the same struggle over and over - I'm back to shame and guilt and then I get tired. I'm aware of this now. I accept this about myself. And I'm happy to say, even though I still will feel guilt and shame, I shake that shit off. Who needs too much of that? Right?
So, I'm back to the "just try 2 minutes" attempt. I do like that. I can apply that to reading the material as well.
So stay tuned....there's more.