Wooosh! I'm flooded with thoughts and feelings. Mental Girl! Ok...good I can feel her inside me working her charm. I'm relieved. Because things can get nasty if I allow it. And I'm not going to allow it.
All right feelings and thoughts...I realize there is a combination of things going on here. But let's see what we can do.
I went out for a walk this morning and did a podcast:
I've also been posting on Instagram:
I'm admitting to myself and some closer family and friends - I'm hormonal and grouchy. It isn't about them...I'm working through stuff - and....they might want to keep a little step back at times.
People have been a bit too...."peoplely" for me. They are loud, rude, unaware, angry, temperamental, preachy, annoying....and...see? I'm a bit grouchy.
However! There is a however...thank you Mental Girl....I will take a deep breath right now....on my walks, I notice things. I notice flowers. I noticed some Valentine's hearts on a neighbor's door - which was very pretty. I noticed my reflection in store windows. There I am! And...when I got my coffee I smiled at people. I had friendly exchanges with strangers. Why should they get an asshole? I even smiled and was pleasant to the two women who work at one of my local coffee hangs - who did not appear to be in a good mood either. I was a little hurt they weren't extra friendly with me. But I smiled and went on with my day. I think that's pretty good. Sure I came home and growled at a couple of inanimate objects that were bugging me. Sure, I had some thoughts about things not being where I wanted them to be. Sure, right now I'm typing and I'm irritated that I booked an early appointment with my therapist. Actually that might be a good thing. Right?
Look - I just want you all to know that even though I write about self care and self love (which is VERY important - especially these grouchy times) - but even though I'm healing and growing and I feel good about having Mental Girl in my life - I too - am human - and I go through stuff. We all do. It's OK.
I had a great chat with a dear friend last week who was spiraling into the grouchies and was frustrated. Then she spiraled into feeling guilty about her grouchies and frustrations. I said, wait! Isn't it OK, to feel disappointed, irritated, bummed out, mopey, or sad? YES! Sometimes it just is. Sometimes you feel it one second and the next minute you are reminded of something good - or something good happens. And then two seconds later - you're mopey again. Soak it all in. Ride the waves. I don't think you have to pull an instant positive thought out when you're dealing with life stuff. Sure it may help. But if it doesn't and trying to muster a positive thought is pulling you into shame and self loathing - stop. Just breathe. Try this:
"Okay - I'm not happy right now. I don't like the way I feel. I know I have good thoughts. I know have good moments. I look forward to them. But right now I'm bummed. And that's OK.
I can't control menopause. I can be aware of my changing moods, thoughts and that feelings are going to come - and when they do I will pile on a ton of self care. I can communicate my needs to myself and others. I can reach out for tools and helpful hints. But control it? Probably not. It's nature. But I can choose to commit to myself.
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for your support.
I appreciate you.