Dear Self: Who's left to admire you ask? YOU. Do you. Love, Me
There's a lot going on in the news about inappropriate behavior. I'd say it's a bit more than inappropriate. There are a lot of dicks out there! First we find out, uncomfortably, how many racists, homophobic, and really mean and angry people there were roaming our streets (and sadly in our families or friendships - EEK!). That was a lot to take in. But now we find out a lot of the celebrities we have admired are being called out for some nasty shit. It's pretty fucking gross. Now if you read Mental Girl, I go into a couple of stories about the "wildlife" that is the entertainment industry. I pointed out that you don't want to put them too high and give them too much room. They "act". They are actors. Get it? That part you see them play, is NOT them. When you see them in interviews, on shows, guest starring, wherever....most of the time they are still acting. Sorry, it's the truth. I've worked with them. I got let down years ago.
However, I too, had a few that I was holding on for dear hope that they would be the winners. Nope!
Don't kid yourself...if a star has reached a certain height in the industry, going to parties, getting paid BIG money.....they knew. They ALL knew. Now I get it, it probably is scary to out one of your colleagues. There are some of these horrific people raping people, among other grotesque and just horribly frightening things, and i'm sure very scary to be around. But enough's enough now! We have the knowledge. What are we going to do about it.
First thing: BOYCOTT. Let the studios know why you are boycotting. Strength in numbers. Oh I'm sure you like that show...but wouldn't it be amazing if enough of us boycotted and this shit would stop.
It's time we stopped putting other people up on these pedestals where they can't fall. It's time we took care of what we are doing - what kind of person we want to be - how we want to treat people. And start squawking in the moment.
It's not just about this disgusting rape culture that gets put under the rug. It's mistreatment of people. It's a detachment from humanity and treating people with respect.
There are people out there who think they can treat people horribly. It's the too nicers (I'm still weaning myself off that crap) that don't speak up in the moment. We are afraid to stir up trouble, so we run away, basically telling that asshole - see? If they don't fight back, it's ok to do what I want. NO!
So what I'm suggesting - is put on your cape. If you don't have one, call on Mental Girl. When someone hurts you BARK! If someone insults you, BARK. If you feel someone is being a dick, BARK. Literally, if you've got the guts - fucking really bark. Oh that would be awesome. Can you imagine if tons of people just start barking like dogs? RUFF! RUFF! It means, hey mother fucker, that is unacceptable! #ruffruff
Of course, there is the obvious - people who try to cheat you, hurt you - you bark AND bite. But there are those times, I get it, you think oh...I don't want to stir up trouble. Well, you don't have to commit to a brawl - but a "hey! I'm here!" - is certainly valid. We need to start hollering back to some people and say: "You aren't seeing that I'm here!" "No! I don't allow you to invade my space." Those moments you find yourself being pushed around by an asshole. Bark! Do it - right in the moment! Why should you go home, holding all that in...feeling unworthy? You may not change the person. But the little you, hears, I'm being defended by ME! That little you is going to feel wonderful. Okay so here are some examples.
You are in a store and someone cuts in front of you. RUFF! "Excuse me, but you neglected to see me. I was here first."
A friend insults you while you have coffee. Yep, you don't want to spoil your afternoon. RUFF! "Hey, I'm guessing you weren't aware of it, but I need to say I got hurt by what you said." (If they don't honor that - fuck them. They aren't your friend)
A friend makes a plan, and leaves you at the curb. RUFF Text or call. "Hey! I was waiting for you. You never showed up. That hurt my feelings." By the way, put "that" friend in a box. Fuck that. For now on, when that friend comes a calling, you tell them, maybe. Play loosey goosey with that one.
Your spouse uses sarcasm on you. RUFF! "Excuse me, we are on the same side here. It hurts me when you use sarcasm".
Do you get it? I'm not saying it will be easy. It's not easy for me. You may not be ready. But practice. Find a friend, one friend, who you can practice this with and gain some strength to do it on your own. YOU deserve it. Go ahead, call that one friend, you know, and start practicing your bark.
Who's with me? RUFF! RUFF!