I've got a weird mood on and I'm not sure what to do about it. I woke up early. I don’t like early. Wait. I mean I don't like waking up TOO early. Sure, that early morning - sun isn't up yet - house is quiet sure has a cool vibe. Nobody's up. I'll think to myself I could get up - I could do things. But then I think - yeah but I can also go back to bed - under the warm covers - do the cricket with my feet and snuggle. Which one won you may wonder?
Bob our cat woke me up at 3:30am Grrrr. Then again at 5:30am...grrrrr and then again at 6:30am WTF! But dammit - I wanted to get my zzzz’s in - I need those zzzzz's - I was determined to get my well deserved sleep..
I know I’m not lazy. I don’t even take naps during the day much anymore. Oh I used to love naps. If I take one now it’s a 20 minute rest. But getting up early? When I don't "have" to - I just can’t get myself to get up super early. If I see the clock and it’s still frickin’ early - or it's dark outside - I ask myself do I really want or need to get up now?
I’m really trying to figure out what I like - who I am. Am I morning person? Am I motivated? Can I do this? I’ve been thinking about working on Mental Girl 2. I have a lot of it done. But the first one hasn’t sold enough copies yet. So putting more money into the second one before the first one pays off - well - we’ll see.
I have a lot of feelings and another session coming up. I'm thinking about how much stuff I need to work through. What are my goals? Am I making progress? How I can push myself further? Not too hard though! I don’t like the shovies! (prounounced shove + eeees)
I want to release thoughts which start with “I should”. I take things at a slower pace - I have to be patient with my anxiety - breathe out the nasty thoughts that I’m less than. I would like to release some of those self sabotaging thoughts.
Okay, I wonder what will come up in the session. I hope some of this crap. We’ll see.